First I would like to start off with a letter to myself......
I suck at blogging. I am not making the time I should, or want to. I need to stop letting things get in the way of it and just freaking do it.
But I still love you...I mean me.
Okay, so yeah I have been far from reliable with my blogs so far. And it makes me so mad at myself. But as I warned in my first post, I wasnt good at writing in my diary when I was younger either. I hear that the new iPad actually lets you just talk and it types for you. I need that. Then I can really multi-task. Plus I find that my best ideas come to me when I am talking to myself.
Why do I always let things get in the way? How is it that even in my 30's I cant determine what needs to be a priority? How do I still suck so bad at time management? Well one thing is I need a desk. Yes, I know that sounds lame and materialistic, but its true. As a writer I need a zone that allows me to feel right for writing. And right now since my bulb is blown in my living room tv (and I cant possibly do anything without tv....and I mean anything), I am forced to work in my bedroom. And thanks to my ginormous bed in my small bedroom the only furniture in there is the bed and the tv. And trying to write in bed isnt as psexy as it sounds. It kind of sucks actually. Its not "where the magic happens" when it comes to writing, thats for sure. So I need a desk. Somewhere that when I sit I think "this is where I write." I found one on walmart.com that I like so when I have some moolah I will probably get it, if I dont spend that money on drinks for me and my friends first. Sadly for my bank account, generosity seems to flow freely from me no matter where I am sitting! But I cant complain, I have awesome friends and I love making sure everyone is having fun. Its worth it.
So, as I am writing this (in the internet cafe of my apartment building, in case you wondered) I am thinking, what the hell am I writing about again? Oh yeah, finding time.
My September column in Bmag (which hopefully you read) was about me not finding time to workout. I am doing pretty good with that I must say. And I am seeing results, which is amazing because I still eat like crap more days a week than I should. Thats the magic of my trainer though! Seriously if I followed what he said 100% of the time, I would be in kickass shape in no time. But discipline with myself is something I am still working on. You know, eating right, working out, not making out with losers, the usual stuff people are trying to change about their lives.
But as someone who considers herself somewhat ambitious, when do I think that time is actually going to arrive? Time for yourself doesnt just happen. I have realized I need to make it happen. Plan time for me like I would any other appointment. I cant tell you how great i feel when I start my day with my trainer Ben. I feel like "yes! I did at least ONE good thing for me today! Something that will pay off!" Is it easier to sleep in? Sure, but then I will still be shaped like a snowman! And I dont recall Mrs. Frosty doing any covers of Maxim.
I want to be a well-rounded person. (Not in the snowman way, in the work vs play way) But no one can do that FOR me. I have to do it myself. And if I dont start now, I will end up one of those women that looks back on her youth and says "i wish I'd taken better care of myself."
So, its September 6. One month from now I am going to revisit this topic and see what I have changed. If you have the same kind of problem of not making time for yourself, I encourage you to do the same. Take one month at a time. What can we change in the next 30 days? Keep me posted on your plans and I will cheer you on.
We can't buy back time from the past, but we can stop planning on wasting the present and future.